I see Mind, a curious newborn.
Big eyes with pupils wide open. Looking in amazement at the newness of every moment, surprised and full of awe. Marble like dark pupils, blinking into space, only to keep the eyes from getting dry. The awe is indulging, frightening and yet it loves to stare, exponentially, into the newness of being. Surrounded by everything, yet alone.
An alien in this being, which existed before it came into existence it learns to comprehend, translate, evaluate, re create and then celebrate. It has experienced joy. It has experienced achievement. For the very first time ever, it has experienced feelings that has given the greatest sense of fulfillment of being. It derives meaning, defines. The approach towards the first achievement was very careful. It didn’t set goals. Rather it explored the possibilities. Confidence seeps in. Mind defines purpose – answer questions.
The cycle of exploration repeats, this time – faster. Mind walks to the other thought. Crawling was too slow for it. It comprehends, translates, evaluates, re creates and yet again – celebrates. The deja vu is rather now a setting. A setting it likes to revisit. The juices of joy flow, giving it the feeling of ownership. Owning the moment, owning the self, believing so.
The cycle repeats a plenty of times, each time increasing the sense of confidence, the pace of approach and the celebration of achievement, treating every new thought with the same approach, because it works, only until, it doesn’t. A sudden shock, dismay, disaster. How can it be? The path was the same, chosen again and again, always resulting in that achievement, that setting, that ownership.
“The setting of achievement and joy did not exist! How can I, the creator of the setting not know? But wait…was the setting a creation? Or was it actually, a result? When did I become the creator of settings? When did I lose out to be the explorer of possibilities? When did I lose out the childlike beauty of mine? When did I forget crawling towards the thoughts? When did I start running towards them? Why did I assume the approach to be the same? How did I come to this disaster? It too is not a creation, its a result. My result. However, there was never an examination, nor the need of explanation, nor competition in it’s own existence. I resulted in the tangle, it did not exist.”
It is all lost, except, I do have the quality to start again. I do have the beauty, to comprehend, translate, evaluate, re create. However, this time, the process itself will be the celebration. Let me stare, let me crawl…
Don’t Imitate. Evolve.